


Avengers: The Flue Attack

by Ely_Pines



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everyone is sick actually, Fluff and Crack, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I also edited this instead of sleeping, Multi, Sick Character, Sickfic, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 01:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely_Pines/pseuds/Ely_Pines
Summary: One day, the Avengers got sick. Every one of them.Follows grumpy moods and sneezings. Lots of sneezing.





	Avengers: The Flue Attack

One day, all the Avengers got sick. No one knew who was responsible for that. Tony - obviously - blamed Bruce immediately because he had apparently sneezed purposely on his latest hand propulsor. Later, Rodhey sighed and said he suspected Tony because everyone knew the guy couldn’t stay in bed during the night - and nights had been especially cold lately. Clint was also suspected but to everyone’s surprise, he was able to demonstrate that he had fallen sick amongst the latest ones on the team. Bucky suspected that it was either Sam or Steve because it had to be one of these two dumbasses - and Steve vainly remembered him that his super healing factor shouldn't have allowed it (“But here we are Steve!” yelled the brunet across the whole tower). Finally, they all came to the conclusion that only Natasha knew who the culprit was - and that she had therefore decided to kill them. Thus they all either tried to determine who she was glaring at or avoid said glare - but as she glared at them for even breathing they really couldn’t know who was about to get murdered.

They all gathered in the dining room amidst the top floors within the Avengers Tower because they all figured that being sick in bed was a lot more dim than being sick together on the fancy couches. Natasha sat on the one backing the door with Clint moaning on her laps. In front of her, Steve had settled on the other couch and had curled up under a blanket with Bucky. Sam had tried to sit with them but as Steve was on the extremity of the couch, he wasn’t left much choice and since Bucky ferociously growled at him when he tried to put his ass besides him, he had backed down near the windows. The third and last couch had been taken over by Pepper and Tony while Bruce sat on the floor at their feet with Wanda under a blanket and tucked against him. Finally, War Machine and Falcon stayed up next to the massive window but pressed against the heater.

The least to be said was that they looked like shit. Their noses were red and drooling, their eyes were red and crying and their head felt swallowed and pounding - and red too (from the fever). Some of them even looked a little green around the edges - and Tony cracked a joke about it, one that Bruce didn’t quite enjoy. Rhodey and Sam were actively trying to act cool and not that much affected but Sam was grasping on his hot mug as if it was his most valuable possession in the world and Rhodes was almost buried under his plenteous layers of pull-overs.

Oddly enough, Pepper seemed to be the least indisposed of all the Avengers. She sat very straightly with her laptop resting on her knees. She had put over the keypad one of Stark Industries’ latest invention: a bacteria resilient protection the weight and the width of a paper sheet. From times to times, she would sneeze, clean her nose with two gracile fingers and then throw the tissue inside the bin she had installed right next to the couch. The sound of her taping on her computer was merely the only vivid sound around the living-room.

“Stop taping” Tony said, though, chewing on her sleeve to get her attention, “you’re giving me an headache when you’re taping.”

She stopped for a second, turning to him with her docile smile.

“Oh I’m sorry that me being the CEO of Stark Industries is so much trouble for you Mr. Stark” she replied smugly.

Clint sneered. He then rose to stumble towards the kitchen counter and more precisely, to what was plugged behind it. He grabbed the object of his desire when he heard Natasha:

“Stop drinking coffee, Barton” she told him. “That’s doing you no good.”

 _Busted_ , Clint thought. Nevermind, he stuck his tongue out - and wondered briefly if Natasha had seen him despite him being hidden by the counter - and brought back the coffee pot nonetheless. He settled back on the couch and started to drink directly at the pot. He snuggled closer to the redhead but she shoved him away and he moaned.

“You’re not fair, Tasha. This is a question of surviv-”

He didn’t finish, for Wanda sneezed at this exact moment. And it was more than a background noise. A flash of red and sparkly energy darted from her mouth, made the low table to levitate briefly before sending it across the room. Clint barely dodged it on time.

“Sorry” the sorceress said with a tiny voice.

Bruce patted her on her shoulder and wrapped her tighter in the blanket.

“Hey Cap!” called Tony.

Steve didn’t move nor emitted a sound and Bucky elbowed him harshly. He woke up and lifted his head towards Iron Man, not even minding to glare at Bucky - after all, he did wake the brunet up not ten minutes ago because he felt too lonely.

“This has to be familiar to you, right?” Tony smirked. “So tell us, Cap, what did you do back in the forties when you had the flue?”

Steve blinked at him a few times before answering in a numb voice.

“Trying to not get killed by it I presume.”

This set an uncomfortable as unexpected feeling in the room - but then Bucky growled.

“What?” the blond asked with mild irritation.

Bucky shrugged.

“Nuthin’. Just remembering ya didn’t try hard. Always trying to get back to your feet earlier than the doc' told you to and guess who had to bring ya home on his back not one minute after you went outside?”

Steve pressed his lips together then bumped his shoulder against his.

“Shut up jerk.”

They settled back, neatly cuddling each other and after a few minutes, Tony started moaning again. He even attempted to seduce Pepper in giving him more attention but no matter the amount of hair gel he had put on earlier this morning or his dashing billionaire smile, he looked just like the rest of them - like shit.

When Clint had the coffee pot finished and another one brewing and that Bruce had successfully prevented Wanda to lever the whole ground, something smashed against the window. They looked up, curious, as the Spider-ling made his entrance.

“Mr. Stark!” he called, “I think I’ve gotten pretty sick! I-!”

He sneezed so hard he ended on the ceiling. He let got and fell on the couch besides Tony. The genius philanthropist parted away from his fiancee and casually slouched his arms around the boy’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry, kid, you’re safe, here” he told him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” Steve asked and everyone noticed how his voice had suddenly taken on his Captain America tone.

Peter shook his head.

“Too sick for school.”

“Then why aren’t you going home, son? It will be more suitable for you.”

The young man squinted his eyes then sneezed brutally then resumed squinting.

“I can’t!” he said as if it was obvious. “I’ll make Aunt May sick too!”

Nevertheless, Tony had already made a blanket appear magically in his hand and he was wrapping the boy in it.

“He’ll stay here for the rest of the day” he stated in a way that prevented anybody to argue about it. “I’m sure he’ll be better tonight already.”

“Damn you and your super healing stuff” said Sam - but he was actually looking at Bucky and Bucky glared back. “Gets me thinking, Barnes, how did Hydra deal with your flue? Did they cocooned they precious assassin?”

The glare intensified but Natasha chimed in before the brunet could answer - or react. Savagely react.

“Shut up Wilson. He’s still fully capable of killing you right here and now.”

See above for the reaction.

Bucky displayed a fairly crooked smile.

“Don’t even start, James” the redhead told him, though, “or I’ll end you.”

She hadn’t moved but everyone felt just how she was already preparing herself for battle - and the Winter Soldier, nor anyone on the room, had the faintest desire of fighting her. (They wouldn’t stand a chance.)

That was the moment Clint chose to speak up - he was sitting on the kitchen counter and had already swallowed down half the coffee pot.

“This is all fun and games, sure, but when and what are we going to eat?”

Tony mumbled something about ordering take-outs and FRIDAY while Rhodey was already thinking about getting sandwiches for everyone and asking Sam if he’d accept to accompany him. Steve was dozing off again so Bucky snuggled his cold nose in his neck - which made him jump instantly.

“I want Chinese noodles” the brunet told him now that he had his full attention, “and borscht and chocolate cake.”

“Buck-” Steve started half asleep and half tired of Bucky’s demands.

“What’s borscht?” Clint asked.

Bucky turned to him while slipping his left hand under Steve’s shirt - Steve stiffened for one second before bending forwards and resting his burning forehead on the cool metal arm.

“It’s hot and it fills the stomach.”

Clint snorted. The “hot” part was definitely appealing to him but the second part sounded like a trap. It was probably some another sort of Russian dishes with no taste and only one purpose: to quickly and efficiently provide enough energy for a super soldier’s day. (Clint personally craved for something a little more... juicy.)

“We got it” Rhodey announced with a sigh.

He and Sam walked towards the door the same moment it opened to let Maria Hill get in. With just one glance, she had them turn back on their heels and joining back their spot near the heater. The SHIELD agent placed herself in the middle of the room. She stood tight, her tablet tighter against her chest and her hands clenching even more tighter on it. She had shadows under her eyes half the size of her head and her nose so bulked it felt itching just to look at it.

“Avengers, the situation is serious. This is a national threat-”

“Then I am not concerned” said Wanda with her most un-American accent “I am not American.”

A tiny but firm “ _Da_ ” came from Bucky to punctuate her sentence. Maria glared at him then at the young woman because Steve was already taking care of Bucky.

“Then let me announce you that it’s a potential international threat too. We don’t know what hit you but it hit you hard and we must take no risk with the civilians. This is why SHIELD sent me to officially tell you that you’re in quarantine starting from now.”

The murmurs of protestation hadn’t even started when the giant screen on the wall lighted up and Director Fury appeared on it.

“Avengers” he began and then he had to stop to sneeze. Some Avengers - amongst which Clint, Bucky and Sam, awed in unison at Nicholas J. Fury’s little kitten-cute sneeze. “Avengers, focus!” the Director snapped. “SHIELD had been compromised. I’m guessing Hill already told you the level of threat we’re facing but we need you now.”

He swiftly explained to them what he expected them to do then he bent forwards but the communication was cut before they could hear his last sneeze. Bucky and Sam glanced at each other and sighed with dramatic disappointment. Tony rose to his feet.

“Alright team, we’d all heard Nick. So, Avengers disa- _ATCHOO_!”

Without missing a beat, Pepper reached out with a tissue, helped him clean his nose and threw away the tissue before returning to her own task. Tony pinched the spine of his nose in attempt to suppress the new upcoming blow. He pitifully waved his hand at the others.

“Guys, just... Let’s go, please.”

They rose too and began exiting the living-room, going to ready themselves for their upcoming missions.

Tony got left alone, his head lightly bent backwards, his eyes half-closed and his fingers straddling his nose.

“I’m dying” he said.

“No you’re not” Pepper replied.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Let me know what you think!


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